Changing Seasons

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY....NO DRAMA....

Fall is in the air. You can smell the leaves beginning to turn and even in the sultry Georgia sunshine you can feel a crispness when the breeze blows. I am a season turner. Good changes
always seem to come about in spring when the first buds blossom on the dogwoods and in the fall when God brushes them with the first hint of orange. Maybe because I easily get stuck in a rut and the seasons changing reminds my spirit that I can too. Who knows.
I mowed a lawn today. Can you believe that I am 45 years old and have never mowed grass. Well not an entire lawn. It was actually fun! It was a very nice riding lawn mower so you can't actually call it work but in my defense I did get quite dirty. And I made 10 bucks. So....I felt like I accomplished something useful for a change.
Today was Grace's last softball game. The team kicked butt! She really kicked butt! Made two double plays as short-stop. The score was 17-7, her team. Go Warriors. I will miss the excuse to see her Dad.
Have things changed between her Dad and I? No. Well I gave into my hormones once and probably will again. I know he's not going to buy the cow if he can get the milk for free. But I saw a great quote on-line somewhere: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Beef. Just my luck the bastard is a vegetarian, right? But, I have needs and it is nice to pretend you're loved even if only for an hour or so. I have to stop making this my issue it's only his fear of commitment, it's not even that really. It's more of a fear of loss of independence. His mother put it best today at the ballgame when she called him a "dictator, control freak". Of course, he comes by it honest and gets it from her.

Just when I thought I was rich by having one close trusted friend. I learned today that there is no such thing.
Being an empath sucks.

Quote o the day- just because you put yourself in hell doesn't make it any less hot.
Chelle...

Word of the day: sadness... Action of the day: tears... Wish of the day: same as always-a family.

Doing the right thing can kill ya...

I don't know why it continues to surprise me but it does. Doing the right thing and having a good heart can get you in more trouble! Losing my mentor hasn't helped either. Mark was very good when it came to office politics. I suck at it. I never seem to get it through my head that it is all a game, a game that I don't play very well. You would think that loyalty, honesty and hard work would pay off. It doesn't. Most of the time the thieves, cheats, and scoundrels get ahead. At least that has proven true where I work. Every time that I try and do the "right thing", I am punished for it.So I have decided, against my better judgement that I am gonna have to: see no evil, hear no evil as well as do no evil. It goes against my belief system, but until I find another job, I am just gonna have to keep my own nose clean and look the other way. We have too many folks there who love to point fingers at any "little thing" that I do wrong, and it's only to keep the management looking the other way. For instance, Grace and Mark came in last night to eat. Usually what I do is wait on them and just show the ticket to the team leader so she will know that I rang up the food correctly. That way I know they get good service and I can pay for Graces food out of my pocket. Well last night the team leader had a fit, wouldn't let me wait on them, and I so wanted to see him for a few minutes. Then because I pitched a fit, she wrote me up. I pitched a fit because ten minutes earlier another girl waited on her mother in law, and she didn't know that I knew it but the team leader herself had waited on her boyfriend the night before and was asking the cook to do stuff like "add some extra eggs to that". I just wanted to impress him as we are on the rocks right now and you guessed it. They screwed up his order forgot to give him his coffee, and I ended up doing all the work anyway.I am having a really difficult time at work lately. No, I didn't tattletale. The last time I tattled I ended up getting in trouble. I guess she figured I would do something like she did. She blamed it on following the rules, but I notice she picks and chooses which rules she is gonna follow. Just little things like that drive me nuts! I have got to pray about it...hard. I really do need to find another job. Besides, I obviously am not going to make team leader. I am going to wait and see what the schedule looks like when the manager comes back from vacation. I have a feeling it's not going to happen though. And without that extra 2 dollars an hour, I can't afford the insurance...I have a tumor on my back that needs to be removed though and it will be a pre-existing condition if I go to the doctors. It's becoming quite painful. I am afraid that soon I will be unable to bear it.


So what do you guys think? Does it pay to be nice? Is doing the right thing worth it? I am curious as to your opinions. I personally think it still does, if you do it for the right reason. That's the hard part. You can't do it for any other reason except to please God. Invariably no one else is gonna be pleased anyway.But it's hard when you are catching the devil to remember that.

But I am gonna try. I am gonna pray hard, and continue to do my job to the best of my ability. I know that there are a very few of us left at my job that do care. At least the customers do notice. It shows in their tips, I average no less that 22% of my net sales per night, and I receive at least one or two comment cards a week. If they are happy, the owner should be. We shall see.